What Makes Me Smile

Afternoon everyone,

I was reflecting on my activity this morning or should I say lack of activity. Strider, my 14 year old cocker spaniel is laying next to me and snoring. She has been sleeping since 8 o'clock except for two trips outside. But for the snoring her lack of activity would scare me a bit. Once in a while she opens her eyes to check on me and then goes back to sleep. Since she lost her mom in September she has firmly attached herself to me and developed a system to guide her during her day. That includes an outside trip around 7:30  or so and then another at noon. Fresh water and some hard food when she come back in and more of the same in the afternoon. About 4 o'clock or so she starts getting excited about her dinner. She especially likes her rabbit based canned food and the similar tasting (I'm guessing) hard food. It's the first time she ever took pills with her food instead of leaving them in the empty bowl. She eats so fast that she can scarce taste the food, but her joy and excitement make me smile.

When I watch her I smile a lot. She has this habit to stop at the top of the stairs and turn around toward me. Originally she and I would touch heads and then proceed to the upstairs, but in the last couple of years the head butts and stare downs have become kisses. Her's to me of course. Then there is her barking at anything on the street. But it is her looks that make me smile. Oh how I wish she could form words and speak to me. Her looks have meanings I know. There is a shade difference between outside and more food and water please. Sometime she seems to know I need her close to me and there are her body slams when her happiness can't be contained which  I think is her form of a hug.

I also smile at people when they do or say something I formerly did or said. Passing and squeezing into the traffic lane or staying in a lane that ends to gain absolutely no advantage. That was my MO for years.

The secret of life may be ignoring everything until it has to be confronted. So much goes away without becoming a problem and tincture of time has a great effect on hurt feelings and bruised egos. On the other hand, telling someone you love them or that they have done a good thing (or job) doesn't cost a dime but may mean the world to them.

I think that smiles are very underrated and so are hugs. If my misfortunes have taught me anything, it's that a good hug is an affirmation of your individual value by the huger, but also makes you apt to smile more and hug more and then where are we, but in a better world?

There are people that make me smile. When I see them enter a room or read something they wrote. When they are on TV, or when I think about how they stir me or make be think. Sometimes I smile at people I love, and remember a special time or place we shared. Some memories exist in the long ago while other memories are still fresh. That's a good time to say I love you. While you can, when the one you love can accept your love and return it to you.

The days are quiet now. The quiet goes well with the cloudy skies and retirement. I don't worry about my place in history or my unwritten sonnet, or the great story that lingers in my mind. I don't mind that life is unpredictable or sometimes seems unfair. I don't have expectations of people or circumstance. The economy isn't something I worry about. Don't we have enough people to worry about those things? I don't care about the Dow or the unemployment rate. I care about the unemployed and hope we can provide the necessities to them. The quiet is a friend. No news program or commentator can dent my space and make me worry. Maybe getting old brings a wisdom about life that only the old and fools can understand and appreciate.

Are we ever going to solve the rampant poverty in our country. When will every person have health and dental care available? We might be able to solve some of these problems when we actually love our neighbors enough to feed, clothe and care for them. Someday we will learn that caring for those who suffer cost less that if we create another government program for it.

It is quiet again. There is still only one toothbrush in the bathroom. Being alone is a litany of canned soup and grill cheese, a bowl of cereal or a couple of eggs. It is a fresh look at life and death. It is examining everything. It is love anew and a kinder gentler look at the past and less self imposed gilt.